It’s Mustard, Richard. Mustard
I’ve been flying Virgin Airlines I really am disgusted What’s this yellow stuff on my plate? It’s mustard, Richard. Mustard! It’s making me feel faint It’s holding the meat to ransom I’m writing a letter…
News
O Come All Ye Pundits
Christ, it’s hard to watch Iain Duncan Smith on TV Without throwing a brick – I’m sure you’ll agree And this seems to be happening more frequently Bring back the test card in the…
It’s Monkey Time
by Yianis Varoufakis Hot cheese, banana knees Everyone loves monkeys Clap hands, jump up and down Sing out and throw a clown It’s monkey time Chimp and zee zee Top cats and bees We…
If I Were To Run A Zoo
by Darius Budrys As Joe Exotic succumbs to coronavirus, we pay tribute with the Lithuanian entry in the Reckless Eurovision Song Contest: If I were to run a zoo I wouldn’t leave out the…
Coppers Got a Brand New GrabBag
As emergency laws come into practice, a reminder of the last time Police Scotland reassured the public by issuing this statement. Carry on: “September is preparedness month. Emergencies can happen at any time and…
Dominic
Dominic a nic a nic a A strategic mastermind He’s the brains behind the throne With a towering intellect And a towering forehead He’s a one man thunderdome Are these people really clever Or…
Put Your Hands Out In Front Of You
by Celebrazione I want you to put your hands out in front of you And bend your knees Backwards Go! Hands, hands, hands… Knees, knees, knees… Boomp a daisy, boomp a daisy… Put your hands…
Charlie Is A Dalek
Charlie is a dalek A dalek, a dalek Charlie is a dalek But he’s still not bloody king! Mummy is still in charge In charge, in charge Mummy is still in charge In charge…
Bucky Bottle Game
As production of Buckfast halts due to coronavirus, we revisit an old They Might Be Gannets number: I lost the Bucky bottle game Which means I have to be Heading to the off licence…
Arnie Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his donkeys send their COVID-19 message to the world… When I was a young boy I lived on St Kilda All I wanted to be was a bodybuilder I opened up…