My Absolut Boy Novichok
My boy Novichok You make my heart go giddyup You make my insides quiver Fuck my kidneys and liver Whoa oh, my boy Novichok If somebody pegs it It’ll take their minds off Brexit…
Politics
Porton Down
Novichok’s back! Here’s when Boris Johnson was caught lying yet again. This time over the poisoning of the Skripals and what an expert at Porton Down told him of the chemicals’ origins. Sigh… Step down…
Bigmouth Tweets Again
Donald, Donald I wasnae joking When I said I’d like to Rub a balloon on your head Donald, Donald I wasnae joking You are scum, by rights we should Cut off your tiny thumbs…
King Of Kirkcaldy (Fade Away and Radiate)
Oooh Gordon. I know you spend night times Wrapped like Ghandi in a cool cool neon vow Fade away and radiate – Naw! Fade away and radiate – Naw! Why won’t anybody listen to…
Jesus Was A Refugee
I saw you on my TV Hashtag BBCQT It was all a bit cringy Mo Farrah, Freddie Mercury Jesus was a Refugee Wearing Calvin Kleins in Calvary Gallus gals from Galilee Buy one god,…
My Inner Dictator
I’m the Tory MP for Aberdeen South I like to slag the SNP with my oversized mouth People say I am a bit insane Cos I sat on the throne of Saddam Hussein…
Diet Of No Fibre
(lyrics by @Tucker5Law) Backin’ up, constipated Tweetin’ rage with his scants down Went the distance, now he’s back on his feet Just a man and his compacted bowel When he was young, it happened so…
Ruth Is Stranger Than Richard
With apologies to Robert Wyatt for nicking his album title, Half Bam Half Whisky release a concept album based around the exploits of Scottish Conservative leader, Ruth Davidson and Scottish Labour leader, Richard Leonard. Listen…
Gammon
I say! We’re Gammon: Our cheeks have a magenta hue. We’re Gammon: And we really like Brexit too BBC Question Time, we can shout out anytime With bulging eyes and bulging vein or two Everyday…
Constitutional Crisis
Constitutional, constitutional, constitutional fucking crisis Constitutional, constitutional, constitutional fucking crisis You can stuff your power grab I’d rather drive a rusty Saab Constitutional, constitutional, constitutional fucking crisis from the album Ruth Is Stranger Than Richard…