Articles by Tommy Mackay

Dedicated Follower Of Fascism

They seek him here They seek him there From Buckingham Palace To Leicester Square Everyday he goosesteps round the gardens of Buck House Cos he’s a dedicated follower of fascism Oh yes he is, oh…



Stuck In Scotmid

As it is revealed that free cash machines are vanishing at an alarming rate, we remember the day an ATM in Dundee started spitting out double money…   Well I don’t know why I came…


Bye Bye Kezia

Bye bye Kezia, Kezia goodbye (Bye bye Kezia) If she’d organised the Queensferry Crossing it’d be over the River Kwai (Bye bye Kezia) Kezia Dugdale – or is it Keezia? There’s no way to make…


Spanish Rock

Just when you thought you’d had enough Of all this bleeding Brexit stuff Here’s Michael HoWARd And Gibraltar And Little England salivates cos that’s the law I’m living on a Spanish rock I’m as English…


Supercallousfragileracistsexistlyingpotus

  Everybody’s ready for Friday the thirteenth When Donny comes a calling we’ll be armed to the teeth From John O’Groats to Lands End and all points inbetween Protesting and singing songs outrageous and obscene…


Noader Daim

  Everybody’s been To Notre Dame cathedral Unless you’re American Then it’s Noader Daim cathedral Wan cunt went to No Noader Daim cathedral Wan cunt and his dug Noader Daim cathedral Two cunts went to…


Pointless

  A Half Man Half Biscuit sample provides the background to a song about the meaningless of life and quiz shows. from the album Ziggy Sturgeon and The Spiders From Katie Melua’s Ears by Tommy…


Turdthumping

  He spreads the brown on the curtains cos he’s never gonna wash again He spreads the brown on the curtains cos he’s never gonna wash again He smears his shit on the walls of…


Walking With Farage

I used to think we would be leaving the EU for sure And I couldn’t wait for the day when we’d all wave Bonjour (naw – it’s au revoir innit. Eh?) Now every time I…