Ah look at all the lonely people Ah look at all the lonely people Doing it with it on a computer D’you know that it’s called CAD It’s in 3D They can build houses…

  A political pundit met a physical Bullingdon bully Asking quite politely if they could read A summary So they printed a sterling work of literature Called Yellowhammer Six whole pages, without any pictures Oh,…

  The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of destruction A real bellender Bad lookin’ unrefined Say, wouldn’t you like to know what’s goin’ on in our minds?…

  I was watching bloody Newsnight, When I saw a Billy Bunter And he was a little old man ([Hello!]) In drab black and gray, chuckling away Well he trotted out the usual As he…

  Coup! Coup! Thur’s been a coup In yonder Westminster, a cunt’s Who’s Who It hasnae moved cos it’s still there noo I am the Boris goo ga choob Dorries is in rude health Every…

  This little fat man who sold his soul I don’t want to be hacked I don’t think there’s ever been a president That’s done what we’ve done I wanna find a friendly reporter Are…