Walk The Wark
Kirsty Wark thinks she can talk the talk But Kirsty Wark can’t even Kirsty Wark She tried to make a documentary To frame Alex Salmond on the BBC It’s pretty obvious she thought that…
Entertainment
Willie Johnston, Speed Freak
In Nineteen Hundred and Seventy Eight It looked like things would turn out great But as it happened, they were bleak For Willie Johnston, speed freak He was framed, he didn’t cheat Willie Johnston,…
Simon Cowell’s Bright Red Tits
He’s the music devil incarnate, a self-denying caveman And now he’s got a child. Oh great – is it called Damien? It’s an omen, it’s an omen And his chest hair has got nits…
Lower Than The World
There are people dying We can’t go on Pretending day-by-day Lower than the world Lower than Europe Lower than the Death Star and entire galactic empire There’s a choice you’re making You’re not saving…
Assistant Referee’s Alphabet
A is for Aberdeen – where I was born and my mate Ross Thomson who represents the constituency Aberdeen South following the glorious election of 2017 B is for Bungle – our pet name…
Modern Major Orator
I am the very model of a modern major orator I wiffle and I waffle – a great stammerer and stutterer I know the queen of England, and I quote Latin historical My verbal…
It’s A Record!
The Daily Reckless has 3 (three) albums eligible for the Scottish Album of the Year which is a record. Well, three records actually. You can see/hear each one here: Laughtivism Tracks: Laughtivism/Game Of Life/Dad On/59…
Sea Kelp
Scientists have discovered kelp off the coast of Scotland that has survived since the last ice age, around 16,000 years ago… There’s a vegetable and fragrance that is talking to me Suggesting I…
Hermit
I think I want to be a hermit Living on bread and beer and cheese I don’t think I need a permit I’ll grow a beard down to my knees Don’t wanna go out…
I Wouldn’t Touch A Russian With A Ten Foot Pole
I wouldn’t touch a Russian with a ten foot pole, Ten foot pole, ten foot pole I wouldn’t touch a Russian with a ten foot pole Nyet, nyet, nyet Well we published a report…