The Loch Ness Monster
Cop brains are fried through misuse Through misuse, through misuse COP26 cop abuse Cop abuse, cop abuse With all your pals, you’re let loose You’re let loose, you’re let loose Take off, get out,…
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Wasp Spider (Stabilimentum)
Stramash-up of Autumnwatch, The Ramones and They Might Be Giants. All hail the wasp spider. see also: Man Spider
Concrete Grows
The concrete and the clay beneath my feet Begins to crumble But it will never die It grows and grows, you mustn’t grumble It’s true, you can’t deny it So you can keep your…
Brown Cliffs Of Dover
There’ll be shit all over The white cliffs of Dover And tampons as far as you can see All together now And applicators Will float by later These turd herds prove our sovereignty words:…
Enjoy The Silence Of Nigel
Popular boys names Like David and James Are still holding on But there’s something wrong Now there are extremes Thanks to Film and memes Lucifer, Hercules Beat all of these Oliver and John, Ted…
A Tale Of Two Williams
One is the oldest man in space The other is just a disgrace One’s full of wonder at 90 But which one is the daddy? Oh yes it’s true, we’re going warp factor 2…
Cock In A Tik Tok
Bitter, batter… Butter, butter…. Tosser One little slogan Done to death What a cunning stunt What a PR triumph Build back better But just change one letter It’s stinking patter Fucking stinking patter It’s…
Grand Old Duke
Oh the grand old Duke of York Had no discernible income So the queen is coughing up for him Now isn’t that fair dinkum So when you’re old and greying And your pension is…
Petrol Station Wankers
Syphoning the jet fuel mix of That Petrol Emotion’s ‘Big Decision’ combined with the drive by shouting of a yoot in a car. see also: Don’t Come Back You Wanker Stranded At The…
Brexit Street
Stick the covid up yer jacksy I’ve got another cunning plan Just a few suggestions Don’t ask me questions I’m a non-answerable man How everything works is a mystery It’s like the changing of…