The Country Is Full
The country is full, full of idiots and fools There’s a portrait of the queen that’s been left in Kabul Should it be destroyed or should they save her face What an embarrassment, what…
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Eco Zealot Marxist
What price will Scotland pay Asks Andrew Neil today The Greens and SNP are pissing on his tree I’m anti- monarchy Anti-wealth And anti-British Why must I be an eco-zealot Marxist? It’s not like…
The Sea Is Closed
The sea is closed, so I can’t afford To wade in on my paddle board I am the kind of guy Who makes up shit like that Oh, oh I’m a foreign secretary who…
The Taking Of Edinburgh Castle
Edinburgh Castle – we’re taking you back But I’m peching after trekking up the Royal Mile I’m talking out my farter about the Magna Carta Wheezing while we’re seizing back power with style Panting…
This Flight Attendant
“Sumthin’s about to go down” “M-m m-m m-m m-m m-m Mummify your ass now M-m m-m m-m m-m m-m Mummify your ass” “I’m a flight attendant I’m a flight attendant That means I attend…
Wee Butcher Of Fife
There was a wee butcher who lived in Fife, Nickety, nackety, noo, noo, noo, One day he got the fright of his life, Hey willy wallachy, are you James Melville I love your twitter…
Fercalicious
What happens now? The fercalicious definition is to make our planet cooler So listen up y’all cos this is it The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission Better known as the F to the E to…
Come On Arlene (GBeebies variant)
We’re the Gbeebies Sounding sad upon your TV screens Cos nobody is listening Our mothers cried They’re embarrassed, who’d blame them? But we’ve grown (we’re grown ups) So grown (so grown up) Now I…
Blame It On The Rona
Supermarket shelves are emptyin’ And that is quite a bad thing But I’m gettin contradictin’ Reasons why I’ve just been down to Tesco And there’s no shelf stacker go slow The problem seems to…
Streets Of Lundin Links
Have you seen a bauchle wrapped in ermine Who’s got fuck all room to squirm in So she buggers off down South To shoot her mouth off Meanwhile back in Fife The locals wonder…