Caledonia Uber Alles
I am Governor Jerry Brown Nicola Sturgeon was in town We slagged off the president… Sturgeon has no demands She won’t shake Trump’s tiny hands But he dictates how this is seen He’ll call…
News
Stickers On A Statue
D’you ever seem to have one of those days where nationalism’s just not doing it for you anymore? Well you know, I used to have those just about all the time. But I found a…
Wightman In Holyrood Parly
Who Owns Scotland The aristocracy who came before us They handed it all down and divvied it all up But the poor had no lawyers Lords and conglomorates Scooping up all the acres We’re…
Now Is Not The Time
We were on the cliff edge and Theresa May says Rollover Willie, Ruth and Kez, Theresa May sez Rollover So they all rolled over but Nicola said No So Theresa May said Now is…
I Wanna Marry A Muirfield Member
I want to marry a Muirfield member And keep him company I want to marry a Muirfield member And be his caddy I’ll polish his wood by the light of day And shout Fore! and…
Porn Stash
Let the sideshow begin In Japan lived a guy And this man was called Joji Onanism was his bag Till his jazz mags fought back Ever since his balls dropped He played till his…
Sadiq Khan
Sometimes it’s hard to be the Mayor of London I can’t imagine what it’s like in Scotchland I’m not saying your racists Well, not to your faces But really that’s the gist of my cunning…
Compulsive Liar
I flew into space With Ant and Dec and Chevvy Chase I was in a film with Ross from Friends I am the Queen at the weekends I’m Paul Nuttall, compulsive liar My trousers,…
There’s No-one Quite Like My Sister in Law’s Ex Husband’s Nephew
My sister in law’s ex husband’s nephew, we love you My sister in law’s ex husband’s nephew, we do Though you may be far away We think of you There’s no one quite like…
No To Joy
So farewell United Kingdom You have left us with no choice Pushed the Bill through – no amendments Clearly Scotland has no voice The real fight starts now, so says Corbyn Handing Theresa a…