Fear Of Cotton
It’s covid time, and anti-maskers are afraid At covid time, to put cotton on their face And in our world of plenty, they can only think of themselves Raise your scissors high guys at…
News
Scottish Tory Six Chip Twat
I’m an MP child with a dead-end smile And a worm’s-eye point of view I know my way round Kincardine, eh? But I haven’t got a clue Now I regularly get asked as Conservative…
A Little Tin Of Soup
Now when you’re feelin’ low and POTUS won’t bite You need a little tin o’ soup to put you right You gotta make like you’re president of the USA And then a little tin…
The Dark Shadows
This is what happens when you slow down ‘FBI’ by The Shadows…
The Heating’s On
The heating’s on, in the hoose The thermostat’s eating the juice Turn up the gas, cos I’m no fussed And the big light’s on, it’s August And the heating’s on Oh-wo-ho, oh-wo-ho Pishin doon…
Save Scottish Comedy
No Creative Scotland money For Scottish live comedy Why? Because they do not think comedy is art, It stinks to high heaven, aye When I played The Stand, I was proud Cos they’re not…
Don’t Come Back You Wanker
Slip inside the flap of your tent Oh Toto we’re not in Kent Anymore This looks like the Highlands to me Or it could be Elie I don’t really know If they start a…
Boris In Scotland
Boris in Scotland When will we hear those boos again? If you care so much then Why not stay and pretend You’re drinking whisky Oh, your grasp of detail And soaring oratory Is just…
Sue, You Are Shouting At Tea
In the absence of any other Gavin Williamson song, here’s one about tea, which the great pudding was posing with yesterday. Boom, log on We’re not corporate we’re nice, can’t you see? Boom, log…
Walk The Wark
Kirsty Wark thinks she can talk the talk But Kirsty Wark can’t even Kirsty Wark She tried to make a documentary To frame Alex Salmond on the BBC It’s pretty obvious she thought that…