Assistant Referee’s Alphabet
A is for Aberdeen – where I was born and my mate Ross Thomson who represents the constituency Aberdeen South following the glorious election of 2017 B is for Bungle – our pet name…
Sport
Fucking Press Ups?
Press ups? Get down on your knees Ya pair of dungarees Fucking press ups? Get a grip ya twats Get some yoga mats Ya downward facing dogs It’s the terror of knowing these cunts…
I Don’t Remember Crowds
A gathering, a protest march What’s the difference? Here’s a chart I’ve got some figures, and an app Isle of Wight – stay in Massage the numbers, dirty tricks Cheltenham, Stereophonics Allowed out to…
Boos, Donald, It’s Boos
Boos, Donald, it’s boos That’s what you are hearing We can’t hear the news For all of the jeering Even at the baseball game The crowd can’t stand you It’s boos, Donald, it’s boos…
Mate, Shut Up
When Fabio Fognini met Andy Murray, it was ‘Mate, shut up!’
Denmark – Dental Care
by The Flasks Brush Brush Brush Kill that plaque With a brush attack Brush Brush Brush Say no way To tooth decay Floss Floss Floss Dig out, defeat That unfinished sweet Smile Smile Smile…
Walking Bollock Naked In The Ochils
As protesters make their mark on the glass panels at Westminster, the Reckless uses it as an excuse to recall a 2013 news story about a chap spotted walking bare naked scuddy in the…
We Win Again!
The winners of the Great Scottish Pop Quiz at the National Museum Of Scotland’s Rip It Up exhibition from a field of 40 (forty) teams – Throbbing Thistle. Also winners of best team name. Co-incidentally, the…
Socks On Fire
The racists are raging Burning their shoes They don’t like Nike Nike All this commotion For taking the knee Affecting their psyche Crikey You Your socks are on fire Hand me my scissors I’ll…
Totally Fired
Little racist Lord Sugar goes all ‘Carry On’ in this mix of The Fall’s ‘Totally Wired’ and The Apprentice. 40 Odd Years Of The Fall is here: