Fawlty Tenements
And now for something completely diffident… You can stuff yer roads and telly and SNPs We got Theresa May and John Cleese We’re proud of our nationalism but not yours We love Lizzie, Charlie…
Articles by Tommy Mackay
David Davis Eyes
Mention ‘impact assessments’ just once more and I’ll more than likely kill you Merkel, Merkel Angela Merkel you fervently moan is this a Pandora’s box I have unleashed and have you seen Schrodinger’s cat?…
Fashion Tips For Footballers
Long shorts, long socks Cheeky little flash of knee Neck trim, long sleeves Massive gloves on the goalie Football fashion Football fashion Technicolour football boots Funky hairdos Artesan shin pads Crappy tattoos Waistcoat optional…
My Absolut Boy Novichok
My boy Novichok You make my heart go giddyup You make my insides quiver Fuck my kidneys and liver Whoa oh, my boy Novichok If somebody pegs it It’ll take their minds off Brexit…
Porton Down
Novichok’s back! Here’s when Boris Johnson was caught lying yet again. This time over the poisoning of the Skripals and what an expert at Porton Down told him of the chemicals’ origins. Sigh… Step down…
Bigmouth Tweets Again
Donald, Donald I wasnae joking When I said I’d like to Rub a balloon on your head Donald, Donald I wasnae joking You are scum, by rights we should Cut off your tiny thumbs…
King Of Kirkcaldy (Fade Away and Radiate)
Oooh Gordon. I know you spend night times Wrapped like Ghandi in a cool cool neon vow Fade away and radiate – Naw! Fade away and radiate – Naw! Why won’t anybody listen to…
Subtweet Good To Me
As Germany crash out of the World Cup, Kay Burley does the biggest subtweet in history… Tank girl, Dugdale isn’t it a pity We don’t want you to contribute to the kitty This is bam…
Ally and Johnny
Ally McCoist continues to astound with his World Cup commentary as he reveals that he met up with Johnny Rotten on a plane once, as fellow commentator Jon Champion witters on about Johnny Rotten’s…
Mark Lawrenson
Everybody’s favourite co-commentator at the World Cup, really is a fun guy. No, really. Watch the video for evidence… Robert Peston, Alan Hansen The love children of Charlie Manson Hansen is as Hansen does Time…