Articles by Tommy Mackay

Fields Of Wheat

Between Boris and Donald Trump Between a clown and a cunt All of the arms that have been sold To Saudis for a pot of gold The cold dead eyes that never cry That let…




Looking After The One Show

I am on the One Show I’m wearing my best shoes My husband Arthur Askey Is on the couch with me too This is now what passes For political insight Jobs for the boys and…


Strong And Stable

  Strong and stable, strong and stable, I’m your mum, I’m your mum. Let me sell your health care, let me sell your health care, don’t live long don’t live long Strong and stable Strong…


The Eejit

This is the story… Iggy Pop moves to Scotland where he annoys the neighbours by playing loud music at night. After a disastrous spell playing left back for Cumbernauld Town, he goes on the rampage…


First We Take Lumphinnans

Speed hovercraft like a bird on the wing Over the Forth to Fife We’re coming over to absolve your sins And spice up your dreary life First we take Lumphinnans Then we take Leven We’ve…