Tiers Of A Clown
There’s always a smile on my face God, it’s so easy to fool the public And when it comes down to cyberspace Now honey, that’s quite a different subject So just let this old…
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She Adjusted My Ballcock
I found her in the yellow pages Which I’m sure you will agree Is quite old fashioned in these daft ages She had a novel way to gain entry She climbed in through my…
COVID-19 Killed All Of The Bars
Remember when we’d go out for a drink or two A pint of Tennents, a vodka and Irn Bru Now we go to Tesco and stand in a long queue oh a oh Keeping…
I Am The Fly
After a fly on Mike Pence stole the VP debate, here’s a reminder of how Obama handled a similar situation: Obama You’re in my sights, you think I’m confused But I’m waiting for the…
50 Ways To Leave Your Comedy Career
The problem is all inside your head,” she said to me “The answer is easy if you take it logically I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be…
What Is The Point In Us?
What is the point in us? Too bad, he’s just got you by the balls You can’t get free at all Just got your name Just got your number You’re screamin’ Like thunder What…
My Spreadsheet Is Full
I’d like to set the records straight But the tables won’t participate They’re filling up and so am I My IT skills will not comply I’m only trying to track and trace But I…
Fuck Christmas
Fuck Christmas and fuck Santa Clause I’m working my ass off and now the virus Has me and my hubby too Give me a fucking break and fuck the children too from the…
Rutherglen
Once upon a time not so very long ago There was a little thing called a lockdown, oh You had to stay at home and listen to the radio Then came a man with…
Hydroxychloroquine
I’m a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of hydroxychloroquine* I’ve got my finger on the button of the nuclear bomb machine I am the world’s best baby boy The one who searches and…