Ed Balls
We were going to show you the video of this song here but unfortunately it’s been blocked by the BBC. Oh well, here’s the tune anyway: Ed Balls, Ed Balls,…
News
My Beautiful Ninja
A Japanese city has been forced to clarify it is not in fact recruiting ninjas, following reports that it was facing a shortage of skilled assassins. That’s a shame. I was in the best…
News Flash
Scientists say it isn’t a fake There could be life because of a lake On Mars In showbusiness facts, someone with an axe Has smashed up Donald Trump’s Hollywood Star More as we get…
Let’s Eat
Brexit secretary Dominic Raab says the government will have to take steps to ensure that there are adequate food supplies for Britain to cover the eventuality of a no-deal departure from the European Union….
Malcolm Tucker Free!
After an intense Daily Reckless campaign including overnight candlelit vigils outside HMP Twitter, Malcolm Tucker is finally released. A relieved Tucker had this to say: Please Indulge Evasiveness Regarding Some Manifestations Of Resistive Gibberish And…
Summer Recess
We’re all going on a summer recess No more working for a month or two We’ll leave the cuntry in a right mess Nothing left for us to do Fuck you We’re gonna leave…
Reasons To Hate Tories Part Three
You’ve got a pen in your hand Are you a journalist? Reasons to hate Tories – 1,2,3 General election Everybody retching Putting up the pensions Tax cuts for the rich Ian Duncan Smith Bloody…
I Just Don’t Know What To Do With My Cock
I just don’t know what to do with my cock I don’t know what to do with my cock Jesus Christ give me a clue I have tried following you And the Pet Shop…
500 Quid
When I woke up I was expecting to see The fascists in control over in France But instead, an electric company Called Macron was in charge, I shat my pants Cos I’d wagered 500 pounds…
Stormy
Tell me I look like your daughter, spank me on the arse With a mag with your face on it, but look out for sharks I won’t play the theme from Jaws If you…