The Cancer, My Friend, Is Blowing In The Wind
How many times must a windmill spin Before it turns on my TV How many times have I told you My dad was born in Germany How many oranges must I sook To go…
Politics
It’s Raining Contempt
As sewage pours into the House of Commons and Uri Geller claims credit, we ask – is this a sign? Or just a burst pipe? Humility is rising, Theresa’s getting low According to…
Mark Francois
Hi, my name is Mark Francois, (you’re hard, you’re hard) Behold my genitalia (my genitalia) My name sounds like it is French (Francois, Francois) But it’s not, I am hench A sweaty bulldog in…
They Shoot Horseshit Don’t They?
Here we go Round and round the floor Together in shite Pure bullshit Over bloody Brexit Whatever This time Theresa and Jeremy We should put them out of their misery Whatever It’s time They…
Walking Bollock Naked In The Ochils
As protesters make their mark on the glass panels at Westminster, the Reckless uses it as an excuse to recall a 2013 news story about a chap spotted walking bare naked scuddy in the…
Do The Zombie
Newsnight’s political editor, Nicholas Watt, quotes a cabinet minister, who, when asked why May is pressing ahead with a vote she knows she’ll lose, answers: “Fuck knows. I’m past caring. It’s like the living dead…
Campbell’s Sauce
Alastair Campbell wrote saucy diaries Tony Blair gave good hair, His smile was better than Cherie’s And all the time Ali fancied Tony rotten, While trying to pretend that he was tough, The thing that…
Kezmania
Wotcha gonna do brother Wotcha gonna do When Kezmania runs wild on you Whoever thought reality Was important for an MSP Kezia Dugdale’s changed her tune From carping on the sidelines to howling at the…
We Have Blinked
Goodbye EU mistrusted friend We’ve known each other since I was nine or ten Together we learned Portugese Learned of aubergines and cheese Fell on our arses and our knees I’ve read the bible…
Uri Geller
Good evening Here’s a letter; In case you cannot read It’s from a fake illusionist to a fake delusionist Who’s not doing very well Oh well, his name is Uri Geller He’s such a…